A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”
human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors
WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.
"If your girlfriend breaks up with you, suddenly she’s a bitch. Whereas before, she clearly wasn’t. All of a sudden you can look at everyone else as being in opposition to you, and it can become very easy to think in terms of ‘me versus you’. Everything is you contra the world."- Ezra Koenig (via onlyhonestwaytogo)
i like it when shawty’s thighs so thick you can’t finger her properly when y’all sittin in the restaurant
I LIKE IT WHEN A WOMAN’S THIGHS ARE SO THICK THEY OBSTRUCT ME FROM FINGERING HER IN A SATISFYING MANNER WHEN WE ARE IN PUBLIC PLACES